I work with a lot of brilliant women. Women who, for whatever reason, cannot see their own brilliance.
Women who have a deep knowing that one day they could/would/should do that thing, or something.
Women who are convinced that their ideas need more perfecting, more refining, more time before being put out into the world.
Women playing small in business, in relationship and with their dreams because the sap of self-doubt has disabled their courage.
It bothers me – a lot. Because I want to live and raise my children in this better, more compassionate, more humane, more enlightened world that I know they would create.
To explain this, many point to a widely accepted narrative, particularly for women, which has us steeped in a deficit of “Not Enough-ness”.
What I have come to discover, first for myself, and then after a deeper, more inquisitive dive into others, is that there runs a parallel and opposing storyline that is not being discussed, yet it is just as destructive in keeping a woman small.
This is the untold story of the Too Much Woman.
Too intense. Too sensitive. Too emotional. Too passionate. Too driven. Too smart. Too sensual. Too needy. Too ambitious. Too fat. Too plain. Too bitchy. Too honest. Too pretty. Too wild. Too successful. Too intimidating. Too sexy.
She is dangerous.
The Too Much Woman is forced to cram the Bigness of who she is into a tight box of predictability and stability.
Her bright sparkle must be dimmed.
Her radiance must be kept in check.
The Too Much Woman is not safe in a world that is afraid of her power. She is shunned, misunderstood, ignored, rejected, abused, threatened, objectified. Anything, anything, anything that will keep her tucked in her smallness and not threaten the status quo.
As women, many of us straddle these two debilitating paradigms: subduing our Too Muchness and ruminating in our Not Enough-ness –they are in fact opposite sides of the same coin after all.
My story is about Being born a Too Much Little Girl, and oscillating between radiating in my Too Muchness, and dimming from the painful repercussions of it.
I have been abused, shunned, rejected, ignored and taken advantage of. And as a consequence, I became very small, hiding from myself and my best life.
When my daughter was born, she was larger than life, and I worried that she too, would be forced to pack her Too Muchness down into an acceptable size to be loved and accepted in this world.
It was not until I chose to embrace the very thing that ostracized me that my greatest shift occurred.
And one day, I told my ‘very personal’ Too Much Woman story. And overnight, I heard the echoes of thousands of woman around the globe who had also dimmed their radiance. And the Too Much Woman Movement was born.
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